Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My horoscope said I'd come into some surprise money today. So far, I'm still waiting. Damned yahoo astrologers probably lied. Or if it's the truth, I hope that it's not something horrible like finding out someone's life insurance is suddenly about to pay off. I mean, I DO have principles!!!

I also have new and exciting information to share. Yesterday I joined Weight Watchers online. I mean, I found the scale where my darling husband has been trying dilligently to keep it from me (strictly at my urging!) and when I got on it I almost fell off again. I knew I had packed on some pounds since I quit smoking. I mean, I recently had to rape my Kohls card to get bigger pants for officewear. But I had NO freaking clue what I actually weighed. Yes, I'll give you the number: 163. There! I said it. Internet, be kind. I'm currently fragile in the self-confidence arena. No wonder those size 10's hanging in the closet actually screamed and ran away the last time I reached for them.

So, yesterday I began the flex plan, counting points and all that stuff that I can't recall ever doing before. In my teens, I drank a Slim Fast for lunch once in a while and retained my girlish figure. In my twenties, all I had to do to drop pounds was slack off the clubbing a little. (ie. the boozing) Now that I'm in my thirties, I had begun to wonder if Taebo was actually a BAD thing. It sure doesn't help the numbers on the scale, but I can totally kick ASS after a few weeks of early morning sessions with Billy. So this time, I'm going to do the WW thing for a bit, and once I get a handle on all the meal planning and counting and being held accountable, then I'll work my Taebo back in. I can't get started on both at once because working out makes me want to eat like a rabid bear. Snarling and slobbering all over while simultaneously shoving doritoes down my throat. Attractive mental picture, huh?

That being said, I headed to do some Krogering last night and stocked up on organic bananas (totally worth the dime more per pound than regular!) seedless grapes, rice cakes, green leaf lettuce, grape tomatoes, fat free calorie free taste free olive oil based salad dressing, and sugar free jello. And an assload of Lean Cuisine meals because they were on sale for A DOLLAR each!! Score!

Wish me luck. I want to be digging back out those 10's before Christmas!!!!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

You will be happy to know that the first part of the week was much, much better at work. I mean, I'm still poor but in the immortal words of Alanis Morrisette, "I'm broke but I'm happy." I still haven't figured a way to manage this mountain of stress I seem to be under, but I took care of some crap this week that needed to be handled, and I actually wrote a couple of new policies as well. Hooray for Insurance Girl! Covering the un-covered for 13 years and counting! hmmm, maybe that should be my new tag line, rather than desperately seeking sanity. Although, both are applicable. I don't think my company's ad department would approve that for my chamber of commerce listing. It would be fabulously funny though. I could be photographed wrapping a trench coat around a hot, muscular young thang. I'll keep him covered baby. Yeah.

The spouse and I Communicated last night. Actually, I crawled up on his lap and was all, WTF, man? Can't a girl get some help around here with this being frugal and crap? Why you gotta diss on me and my financial planning? (yes, I realize I'm a white thirty-something who lives in the suburbs, but sometimes it helps diffuse the situation to throw down some of my ol skool roots) Anywhoo, it was determined that Sunday was all a bunch of miscommunication. He didn't know I had already laid down the law about the dollar movie. The kid just wanted to spend some time out of the house, and I just wanted to let one day go by without having to deduct anything from our checking account. Almost all of this was accomplished. We rented two movies and popped popcorn at home. Spent the afternoon/evening with the three of us just hanging out on the couch. It was nice. And we watched two new releases for the price of one freaking matinee ticket. Who's your little penny pincher??? I am!

So, I'm thinking of taking up yoga or something. I need to do something other than obsess over the job and sitting on my ass eating potato chips and then going outside to chainsmoke is just doing nothing for my figure. And my ability to Taste the chips is shot all to hell due to smoking. So, it's stupid and endless and I need something Waaay more bettered to do with my time. So, there's a new gym right down the street from my office called the ten dollar gym. Everything in it is all new and sparkly, and the best part?!? It's only ten dollars per month to join, with no contract that you have to sign. I'm totally gonna bust out the workout clothes and rock me some Taebo prior to embarrasing myself in public. But it's something I'm really interested in. Well, I have an appointment in thirty minutes ,I just finished my bar-b-que chips, and now I'm going to smoke before my customer comes in.

I will obviously need a mint afterward.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I've always been in charge of the family's finances. When we were in our early twenties, it was paying of students loans and credit cards. Late twenties it was buying a house and making it all purty and stuff. Early thirties have been all about saving for college, retirement, a vacation. Just Saving and Not Spending! I'm good at this money thing. I keep our credit in great condition and our savings accounts are bigger each month rather than smaller. I'm not bragging. I'm a Capricorn. It's what we do.

Now that the new job thing started, I've seen a large difference in my prior monetary arrangements. So, I talked to the kid and the spouse and let them know that we must pull together as a team, and learn to be more frugal. Turning off lights when you leave a room, eating rather than going to a nice restaurant with a large bar tab. Maybe skipping constant weekends at the lake. Well, it was all agreed that we would do this together and make it work. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to make us eat Ramen EVERY single day, just once in a while. Maybe opt for sloppy joes and a game of Scrabble, rather than those luscious bacon-wrapped filets and a bottle of merlot. (damn, this being frugal shit sucks sometimes!) Regardless, I was all gung-ho until Sunday.

The kid is out of school for the summer. She's tired of staying home every day. She's bored. So Sunday morning she asked to go to the movies. Well, since I found out Friday about an $800 business expense I need to write a check for, I asked her to find something at the 'dollar' movie theater, rather than the expensive one. And that dad would take her, while I stayed home to make dinner. (red beans and rice, a recipe that takes about four hours) She agreed. Ten minutes later, she and the spouse come to tell me they're going to a matinee at the 'not a dollar' theater. I got pissed. Rapidly. Then I cried and cried because it appeared that I was in the frugality boat all alone, and the spouse and kid didn't care. Groovn-husband was mad because I got mad. We've NEVER had an argument, but Sunday was a close call. I mean, it was only an eleven dollar difference between movie prices, but the point was that I felt let down by their un-cooperativeness. (is that even a word?) I also felt scared that this job change is a big mistake. That I'm personally responsible for ruining our family's financial future. Combined with the fact that things at the office have died down ,and I can't even get a damned Family Member to return my call so I can give them a quote. WTF?

It's frustrating, very scary, infinitely stressful, and I'm wondering if I can really do this. But I'm still trying.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I haven't sold an insurance policy today, but the day is still young. I've been working on training for the new computer system and a multitude of other boring things. I won't go into detail. I mean, it's insurance crap. I've had a stress headache for about 7 days now, and our savings account hasn't seen fresh blood in months. Dude. Being self-employed is NOT easy! On the bright side, I don't have to argue over which radio station to listen to. :-)

Yesterday I totally bounced out of work for a few hours and took the kid to the mall. Yes, I'm aware that I'm currently poor and not really getting any type of paycheck, but when I quit smoking I gained a few pounds. Now all my 10's are too snug so I had to find something to cover my rapidly expanding girth. Did I mention that I started smoking again? Yeah, now I'm all beef-cake and shit AND I smoke. WTF did that eight months sans nicotine do for me except make my booty bigger, clear my sinuses, increased my sense of smell, and decreased the amount of cute summer stuff in my closet that actually FITS???? I know, I'll quit again soon. Last night I chugged a large-ish glass of merlot while cleaning the house. Then I decided to go smoke a couple of cigarettes. Now my throat is sore and I'm mentally berating my own damned stupidity. You'd think I was addicted or something.....

Okay, I didn't mean for this to turn into a mini-bitch-fest but there you have it. Those are the things on my mind lately. Work. Smoking. And my big Ass. Oh, I almost forgot this one:

The kid is staying home this summer. She's been spending nine hours per day all alone while the spouse and I do the job thang. I feel like nine different types of a neglectful parent, so does anyone have any (cheap!) ideas that I can do with the rugrat in the evenings? We've played soccer, taken a walk, gone to the mall, and now I'm at a loss. The cheap movie theater in our area is Skankeeeee! so that's not an option unless I double up on the meds before I go. Last time I gave in and went I spent two hours after the movie trying to disenfect my shoes. Yuck!

So, suggestions?

Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm back. Not that I've been missed. I'm sure my 1.5 readers were avidly wondering if I died from over-Taeboing, but unfortunately for my thighs, I haven't been doing much of shit lately. I mean, I will tell you this: I quit my job of 12 and a half years and opened my own insurance agency. Yes, it's not been my lifelong goal of being an insurance pimp that OWNS the playground that the ho's work in, but what can a girl do? I got tired of working for the man, paying my mortgage while my boss bought a new car every week. So, I kinda decided I'd be the man for a change. I mean, really! If you can't screw the man, then screw yourself is my theory on it all. Needless to say, being a small business owner has consumed ALL of my free time. I haven't been online for fun in fifty-kajillion years or something like that. I won't be nearly as neglectful in the future. I need this outlet to bang out my frustrations, random thoughts, and various ponderings. Or else I get all pissy. And yes, I'm currently pissy.

Despite the big job change, the spouse and I still took the kid to Cozumel for vacation. I mean, the tickets were paid for and all that so..... we just sucked it up, raped the savings account, and spent 7 days laying in the Mexican sun. Honestly, it was fun, but it still wasn't as good as the first time we went sans child. The vibe there isn't always kid friendly and I'm not 100% on this, but I think my daughter learned what the flaming pirate is. (It's something pirate, I can't remember) Maybe I should refresh my memory on urban dictionary dot com.

Or maybe not.

So, anyone out there need any insurance? I'm sellings, all I'm saying.....